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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459887">Emergency Call</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee'>TeamGwenee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Emergency Calls [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire &amp; Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Defending the Wench's Honour, F/M, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:41:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28459887</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime finds himself in a bind and calls up his brother, who is less than helpful.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Emergency Calls [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Emergency Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “Tyrion, I really need your help.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I wish I could help you but I really don’t want to.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Tyrion!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Well you shouldn’t have called me just as I was starting on my cocktails.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Oh come on Tyrion. If you don’t help me, I will have to call my bloody roommate, and if I do that I will never hear the end of it. Bloody annoying ugly Wench.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Where exactly are you?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “.....” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Jaime?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Police Station.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Seven Hells Jaime!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Hear me out, some right bloody yobs were pratting around, saying the foulest things, and I had to intervene.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “And by intervene you mean…?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Punching the stuffing out of them.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Why exactly did you have to intervene slash punch the stuffing out of them?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I told you, they were tossers.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “We are Lannisters. We’re surrounded by tossers on a daily basis. What is it about these ones who required having the stuffing punched out of them?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “They were insulting Brienne.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “What?” </em> <em> <br/><br/></em></p><p>
  <em> “They were insulting Brienne!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Brienne. Your ‘stuck up, annoying, self-righteous roommate’ Brienne?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>  “Yes.” </em>
</p><p><em> “What were they saying about her?” </em> <br/><br/></p><p>
  <em> “They called her ugly.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You called her ugly five minutes ago.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “And they called her a beast.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “That’s how you addressed her Wintermas presents.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Look, it’s cute when I do it. When they do it-” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “It’s an invitation for a knuckle sandwich?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Exactly. So now I need you to pop down and pay my bail.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Ahhh, Jaime. I would really like to. Except I would like to keep on drinking even more. Looks like you are going to have to call your ‘ugly stubborn self righteous annoying beastly Wench of a roommate’ to come get you. Make sure you tell her exactly why you got arrested, all wenches love a knight in shining armour. Even the beastly ones.” </em>
</p>
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